Parenting in Two Cultures

Differences in raising a child in Korea and Canada
The perspective of a Korean mother


Jasmine Chung


Teacher: Ali Dorostkar
March 9, 2007


Differences in raising a child in Korea and Canada:
The perspective of a Korean mother

INTRODUCTION
Raising children abroad is different from raising children in one’s native country. Raising children in different countries will allow the parents as well as their children to gain new experiences and to learn a new culture and linguistic background. However, many problems arise for the newly immigrated families. Immigration involves enormous adjustments for families. Parents’ lack of English provides limited support to their children and the social, educational, economical and personal differences between two different countries create many obstacles for them to overcome. This research paper is to introduce the different positive and negative facts of raising children in Canada and Korea and to offer some recommendations on how parents can raise their children more effectively.

REVIEW OF LITERATURE
When asked about their reasons for selecting a certain country, most of immigrated parents replied, “[t]o help their children to obtain better education, to secure a better economic future, to grow up in a safe environment, and to reconnect with family” (Pierra, Chapman, Stein 3). P. Anisef and K.M Kilbride have studied the parenting issues of newcomer families in Ontario and their findings have shown that the parents were able to be more optimistic about their children’s future in Canada and were hoping for their children to pursue a better life than they themselves had. 100% of the immigrant parents were hoping for their children to learn English since this language is used internationally; therefore, they can live a secure economic future such as having professional jobs.
Parents’ lack of communication and social skills can cause weak relationship with their children. Many school teachers have noticed that newly immigrated parents cannot participate in social activities with their children at school due to lack of English skills which leave their children with “complex educational and health system” (The David and Lucile Packard Foundation, 2004). Given their limited English, parents cannot help their children with homework or even encourage their children to be involved in after-school activities. The language barrier has caused parents to feel “helpless, alienated, and unable to advocate on behalf of their children” (Ibid). On the other hand, when children begin to fully speak English, they sometimes feel embarrassed with their own parents because they cannot speak English. Immigrant parents are more aware of the community and without knowing the parents of their children’s parent; they often do not feel safe to send their children to parties, sleepovers or to the movies. (University of North Carolina: Pierra, Chapman, Stein 14).
Majority of the immigrant parents believe that their children benefit much more from the American school system. According to the research of the University of Carolina: Becoming an American parent, many of them have had positive impressions of the school system in North America because teachers show high expectation and care towards their child. Teachers in North American schools have interviews or meetings with parents to discuss their children’s progress at school. However, some parents have difficult time understanding the teachers and interpreters were not available. The study of Carol Schadelbauer have recommended that school and community-based organizations should work to provide parents support groups and literacy programs for adult to ensure that there are not left behind. Most importantly, Canadian and American educational systems are placed on hands-on training through workshops, travel programs and other activities. Many opportunities to participate in helpful programs and activities have accelerated the students social interactions with their peers.
Finally, for newly immigrant parents, one of the most difficult challenges they need to adjust to is finding the appropriate balance between work and family. The study of P. Anisef, K.M Kilbride investigated the economic difficulties of immigrant parents. Due to their lack of spoken-English, the availability of jobs is rare and has decreased their self-confidence. On the other hand, some have noticed that their families have become closer since they are unemployed. According to Perriera, Chapman and Stein’s survey, parents need to improve communication more frequently with their children to be attentive to their children’s needs and to speak openly and honestly about any of their issues. This study aims to illustrate the pros and cons that immigrant parents can face while raising children in a different country and suggest some helpful ways that can benefit their children and themselves.

METHOD
Participant
The case study for this research paper is based on my mother, Sally Lee. She is forty-two years old raising three children in Canada with her husband. Two of her children are teenagers who are in grade nine and eleven and a son who is in grade six. Her birth place was South Korea, but she moved to Canada with her family in August 2001. She has been married for seventeen years. Her past job was a mom and currently remains as a home-maker to take care of her children in Canada.
Sally came to Canada in order for her children to learn English and to meet various people from diverse backgrounds. In addition, she wanted her children to gain self-confidence and to communicate and be sociable with people of different races or nationalities.
Her language skills are still developing and she has been attending English school for adults. She had some difficulties for the first few years due to her poor English in a new environment.
I am closely related to this person because she is my mother who has been taking care of me for fifteen years. Through the experience of living with her, I have seen some changes in her personal life as well as her attitude towards her children.

Data collection
My data collection technique was interviewing my participant on topics relevant to my research question.
There are four different parts to my questionnaire: economic differences, social differences, personal differences as well as educational differences that my mother has experienced since moving to Canada. Each category included two to four open-ended questions.
Under the social differences, I asked questions based on communication problems, influence from friends and differences in the amount of free time her children spend. As for educational differences, the questions were based on the differences in the educational systems, problems in school and the changes her children experienced since moving to Canada. Thirdly, regarding personal differences, I mainly focused on Sally’s attitudes towards her children when she was in Korea and Canada. The last category was about the economic differences she noticed when she was raising her children in Canada and Korea.
When I was interviewing Sally, I had some difficulties because I could not translate some sentences well into Korean; therefore, sally was confused or could not understand what I was asking. Also, it was difficult for her to express ideas deeply in Korean or in English.
It was interesting for me to interview Sally about this topic because I was able to understand the main reason to why we moved to Canada and the amount of sacrifices that my parents had in order to make our lives beneficial.

FINDINGS
In this selection, I will explain the results of the questionnaire I received from my participant about raising children in Korea and Canada, and how it will relate to my research. My findings are divided into four main categories: social, educational, personal and economic differences. In this selection, the reader should be aware that some categories will overlap and relate to one another.

Social differences
Have you ever lived in a foreign country where you could not understand its language? When Sally’s family moved to Canada in August 2001, she faced communication problems for a period of time. She was often frustrated and wondered if moving to Canada was the right choice for her family. She handled this problem by reaching out for help from her friends who had lived in Canada for a long time. In addition, she gathered information from Korean communities regarding how parents can help their children with their school work even if their English was poor. Sally knew that she would have to live in Canada for a long time; therefore, she decided to attend an English school for adults and improve her language skills. On the other hand, her children did not experience a huge problem with communication at school because they learned through ESL programs at school. Teachers gathered all students who were new to the country and helped them expand their knowledge of English language.
Country far different from one’s native country changes the way one spends his or her time individually and as a family. In Korea, Sally’s children barely had any free time due to constant education within and out of school. Sally was a strict Korean mother who wanted her children to achieve beyond excellent in almost every area of education whether it was math, science or music. After school, her children would go to extra curricular activities to learn piano, English, math and Korean regularly. Also, at home, Sally would tutor her children until late at night. She said, Korean students who are in middle and high school mostly stay out past 12:00 midnight studying or they spend majority of their day at the library. This shows that education wise, the competition is greater and tougher. Nonetheless, in Canada, Sally noticed that children have more free time. In Korea, all parents support their children at school but in Canada, it is up to the children. If they want to be academically successful, they try their best; however, if they choose not to, they do not take school seriously. Moreover, competition in Canada is not as great as Korea. This is advantageous because more free time gives her children less stress at school and gives them abundant amount of time to think ahead of their future.

Educational differences
According to Sally, there are both positive and negative facts about the education system in Korea and Canada. Korean education system consists of longer hours of school. It varies from day to day; for example, on Monday, the school will start from 8:35 to 4:30 and other days will start from 8:35 to 3:00. Also, students attend school six days per week including Saturday. Furthermore, it is mandatory to take all subjects at school; therefore, they do not get the choice to pick courses they want. Middle school and high school are hardest and the most stressful years for the students because they need to prepare to write a university entrance exam. In addition, in good universities, the professors determine admission by considering all of a student’s marks throughout their high school years. She says, the teaching method is strict in all courses and does not involve hands-on activities. In contrast, she noticed that Canadian education involves more hands-on teaching with a lot more discussion during classes. From grade nine, Canada offers course selection. This means that if a student does not want to take grade 12 math, they have the choice not to take it. Course selection offers student free time to focus on their specific subject that they want to master throughout university. However, some negative facts are that students are struggling to adjust to first Year University because there is a huge gap between grade twelve and first Year University. The teaching environment in university becomes much stricter than it was in high school; therefore, many students who did not study hard fail.
The educational systems of both countries contribute positive facts; however, many serious negative facts can arise. In Korea, due to students’ having no free time, they often get too stressed which leaves great impact on their health. Furthermore, an unexciting teaching system makes students not pay attention during classes. There should be more discussion and activities at school to engage students’ attention. Some of the negative facts in Canadian education system is opposite from Korean system. Sally believes that teachers should be stricter and should care more about their students. For example, some teachers do not care if students skip classes. More importantly, she believes that during high school, the teachers should introduce students into stricter learning environment so students will not suffer through university.
Since the educational system differ from each other to great extent, Sally has noticed some changes in her children since they have moved to Canada. Firstly, their math skills have dropped in Canada, but they have improved in other subjects such as English. In Korea, students learn math earlier at a faster speed: grade nine math in Canada is the same level as grade seven or eight math in Korea. Children’s English has improved greatly because it is the main language and all courses are taken in English. Canadian schools have allowed her children to learn a new language: French
In her opinion, she prefers a mix of Korean and Canadian educational systems. She assumes that if schools were stricter but less strict than Korea, then students will not have difficulty in their transition from high school to university.
Personal differences
Sally talked openly about her personal changes towards her children since she has moved to Canada. When she was in Korea, she focused on them indirectly. For example, she did not have to make lunch everyday and drive them to school. She mainly focused on their academic performance. She also explained that parents choose the university for their children because it is a way for their children to thank their parents for taking care of them. When she was in Korea, she was much stricter on her children due to greater competition at school; she worried about her children’s grades and if she was unsatisfied with it, she did anything she could to improve their marks by sending them to tutors and after-school activities. Ever since she moved to Canada, she has spend too much time taking care of her children by making lunch and dropping and picking up their children from school. She is less strict to her children; she feels that it is her children’s responsibility to improve their own marks.

Economical differences
Raising children involves spending countless amount of money. When she was living in Korea, she spent more money on their children for education. Tuition fees for middle schools, high schools and especially universities are much more expensive. Most of the finance go under their extra curriculum fees. Extra curricular activities are the most expensive, although they are tax-free. On the other hand, in Canada, the schools are funded by the government and university tuition are less expensive; therefore, the money is predominantly used for food, clothing and other items. However, basic needs in Canada are taxable

CONCLUSION
Analyzing the differences of raising children abroad and in their native country was very interesting especially interviewing a participant that has experienced similar situation. This research paper allows everyone to understand that each country has its own unique culture, and we can benefit through this experience. Also, it gives an overall view of the educational, economical, social and personal differences one may experience through raising children in a new country.