Bessie Chan: EQ

Emotional Intelligence Date:19-9-2007
Emotional Intelligence , or EQ,includes skills such as understanding one’s emotions and relating well to other people. According to psychologist Nancy Matz, there are five components of the EQ. They include “Self-Awareness” , “Self-Control” , “Self-Motivation” , “Empathy”,and “People Skills”.In my opinion, “Self-Control” , “Self-Awareness” and “Empathy” are the most important in Emotional Intelligence.

“Self-Control” is a kind of intrapersonal relationship that reflects the ability of handling one’s emotions. It is a fact that everyone faces disappointments everyday. We must all learn to deal with setbacks. When things go wrong, we will get depressed. Someone will allow themselves to dwell on failures for a few minutes, the whole day or even the whole life. It is obvious that no one can control one’s thoughts. One should tell himself that it is time to stop being depressed and think positively. For example, I was very disappointed when I failed my driving road test. After feeling upset for a few minutes, I told myself that the world won’t change eventhough I keep on feeling depressed. Afterward, I discussed other social issue with my driving teacher. It was apparent that I didn’t feel so disappointed when my focus changed.

“Self-Awareness” is a kind of intrapersonal relationship that reflects the ability of understanding oneself. When things go wrong, we must keep going and not let the problems stop us. In the example mentioned above, I studied the results sheet carefully and figured out the mistakes that I had made in the road test. I decided to pay more attention to those weak aspects when I drive the next time.
“Empathy” is a kind of interpersonal relationship that reflects the ability of understanding others’ emotions .It is true that no one is an island. One cannot live by himself and ignore others. Everyone must deal with others and have interpersonal relationship with others. The most effective way to understand others’ emotions is to project yourself into others’ situation. Once again, in my example of driving road test, when my friend told me that she failed two times in her driving road test and had the same feeling as me, I suddently felt that she was like my old friend and understood me a lot.

Can anyone be trained to develop their EQ? It depends on how one can control his/her emotion, how one has his/her self-awareness and how one can show empathy towards others. If someone can control his/her emotion,he/she will not dwell on failures forever. If someone is self-aware enough, he can improve himself and escape from failure. If someone knows how to show empathy towards others, he can probably heal others’ sorrows and relate well to others. After doing all of the above, there is no doubt that one can upgrade his/her EQ.